I’m One of the muses, A common wood nymph roaming around Parnassus, Happy with my little sweet pea. With her delicate, fragrant flowers Carried on long, slim stalks, She captivated me. I ran to her flaming with desire. I am flaming. Burning Blazing with desire. Too hot for my sweet pea. Because she’s so delicate, So delicate for me. As I touch her, she transformed into ashes. I burnt her. And out of a haze, you were formed. Like smoke given out by fire. A fireweed that sprang up in the burnt over area. A replacement, I thought. You quenched my thirst. Suffuse my hunger. My desire. I came to you for a crown And you gave me a kingdom. You made me eat on a golden plate And drink from your cup of diamonds. But like a common pitcher plant, Cut your base open And there you’ll find my body’s remains trapped inside. A pitfall in the middle of the forest. I will name you Venus? The goddess with a seducing brilliant red trap. Open to all beings that needs nurturing. Show your bosom and all will crave for your milk. From a butterfly, you turned me to an ant. When I brushed only slightly against your skin, You closed within an instant. Rigid spines on the margins of you blades interlock tightly. As soon as I was trapped, You digested me. Used me as a nutrient material. I know this is about to last for only a week. By the time your leaf reopens, You’ll be reedy for other sufferers. Trapped inside, I accepted my fate. Then there she came one spring day. My little delicate sweet pea. Now a spring beauty in full bloom. A low perennial herb. With narrow, succulent leaves And loose cluster of white and pink flowers. But your leaf has closed. I cannot escape.

Fangirl 14  


Yey!!! I MADE IT JUST IN TIME!!!! ahahaha...I got extended from work and thank goodness there's no traffic at this time of the night. So, I'll just get straight to the point... HAPPY B-DAY RIKA!!!! This FINAL chapter's my gift for you!!!XD

Rika typed her comment on Kuwagata’s blog but before she decided to send it, she thought that it contains a lot of information on the writer’s part. She just posted the first part and then decided to just send her analysis through PM.

Hi there, Kuwagata-san. Finished your fic and I want to congratulate you for making me cry.. No pun intended.. but yeah, that was a really good ending for your fic. My best friend would squeal as you decided to end it as TanaShige. Or is it? ahahaha..So this is your answer right? I’ll just PM you my analysis coz I know, you don’t want me to expose your real identity here…Just reply if my ‘theory’ is wrong but mind you… I’m very good at analyzing stories…. Why? Because I had a pretty good grade in our Personality Psychology class. So, I’ll send it to you now~! XP

Rika clicked the send button. She grinned as she remembered to highlight the word ‘TanaShige’ as an answer to those who were fighting before. She was glad that after giving that lecture, those readers decided to not to take pairings seriously and be open minded about it. And they were still commenting on the story.

“If only those guys knew the real story…” She then opened another browser and typed in her personal e-mail account. She pasted her ‘analysis’ on it and sent it to Hitomi’s business e-mail account. She forgot to ask for her ‘personal’ account and since she had a database of the employees’ e-mail addresses, she used it to find Hitomi’s account.

To: yoshizawa_hitomi@ishikawagroupofcompanies.com.jp
From: kawaiicharmy@yahoo.co.jp
Subject: Analysis on Searching for the Light

Hey there! Sorry if I had to e-mail you using OUR official add..but yeah.. I forgot to ask you about your other email add so I had no other choice…Unless of course, you want me to tell the whole world about the real Kuwagata…LOL

First of all, I think, your story is not that ‘parallel’ on Miki’s story, since you’ve said it’s more on symbolism type. So… here’s my guess… Eri and Sayu are one… I mean..well, based on what I’ve learned on Miki’s story… You liked her… So I guess, Eri’s your ‘other’ side, (and her sickness was being gay towards someone)… and Sayu’s the normal one… I was having a hard time to decide who’s who at first because Sayu’s really hard to predict. And, you killed Eri… I think that means, you killed your feelings towards Reina… or Fujimoto-san in real life... and since Eri asked Sayu to be friends with Reina… I think you’re telling me that you wanted to be friends with her again right? And what you did with the ending… I think, “Eri’s” wish came true. Although… that doesn’t explain why Miki had to slap you in the park…I don’t mean to be rude or something. Just don’t answer it if you don’t want to. But how can you say that the two of you were alright when you left after Miki slapped you? Well, there is that hug but still… Hmmm… So there’s my analysis… I really hope you can reply to this PM. Don’t think that I’m just being nosy or something. Honestly, the two of you were fairly close to me that’s why I want to understand what happened before. I really hope that it’s already fixed now, just like in your ending. 

Rika clicked the send button and logged off on her account. She took a glimpse at her ‘temporary’ apartment. She almost didn’t notice it but it’s almost time for her to leave this cozy place. She lay on her bed and tried to get some sleep.

“Don’t be. I’ll wait for you, promise.”
“GAAAHH!!!! STOP PESTERING MY MIND!!!!” Rika shouted frustratingly. Somehow what happened earlier keeps popping out of nowhere. Her mind was playing some nasty tricks to her as she can’t seem to forget their ‘date’ especially Miki’s kiss. She knew she was blushing as she touched her lips; even though it’s just a short contact, she can still feel Miki’s lips on hers.

“Think rational Rika… It just can’t happen! Why did you do that! You’re giving her false hopes! She’s already hurt before and now, you will hurt her more! You’re a coward Rika. You just can’t do that. You have dreams. You have a good future ahead of you!”

“A good but sad future if you ask me.” Rika sat up from her bed and looked around. She was trying to remember whether she locked her door or not. When she remembered that she locked it, she returned to her lying position.

“Why do you keep on running away from reality? Why you just don’t grab the chance that you’ll be happy?”

“Who’s there!?” Rika shouted. The voice didn’t reply.

“I must be imagining things. Maybe I’m stressed out from work.”

“You’re stressed because you can’t face who you really are.”

“Who the heck are you?! And why are you telling me this things?!”

“Sorry if I haven’t properly introduced myself. My name’s Charmy.

“What?! Charmy?!? Hey that’s my…”

“Yes, your name… sometimes you’re so slow ne. I’m you if you don’t notice it.”

“So that means it’s all in my head…. WILL YOU JUST DISAPPEAR! I want to sleep!” Rika closed her eyes tightly and covered her ears. She knew it wouldn’t be effective because the voice was coming from inside her.

“Sorry.. but I can’t do that.”

“May I ask why? You’re just a figment of my imagination. YOU are not REAL!”

“Yes you are correct. I’m just a figment of your imagination… you know. I’m tired too and I really want to sleep.. so stop thinking about me and make me vanish already.”

“That’s what I’m trying to do! You just keep on popping out of my head!”

“You know why? It’s because your other side, represented by me, can’t rest until you solve your problem..I mean OUR problem caused by your ‘Reina’.”

“There’s no problem right! I already solved it. It just can’t happen okay. That’s my answer so stop bothering me.”

“You represent the head part and I represent the heart. My answer and your answer are contradicting each other that’s why we’re in this mess.”

“God placed our head to the higher part of our body to be used first before the heart.”

“But sometimes, we have to use our heart for the same reason as to the head because, it’s the right thing to do. We perceive the heart as weak but actually, it’s the stronger among the two.”

“Stronger?? If we follow my heart, we’ll only get hurt in the process and then…”

“Then we’ll be able to learn eventually. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. They are the one’s teaching us a lesson.”

Rika sighed. It’s really hard to fight with her inner mind especially if it was just showing her the truth… It’s hard to accept that her ‘other’ one was winning against her more ‘rational’ side but then again… love’s not really rational right?

“I hate you…”

“Correction… You hate yourself… because I’m you too.”

“Fine, geez… You know. I’m really tired. I know you can feel it too so let’s just settle this topic tomorrow. How’s that?”

“I’m okay with it. At least you’ll have a clearer mind to analyze things, Ms. I’m A+ in Psychology subject.”

“Shut up!” With that said, Rika immediately fell into the dream land.

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY RIKA-CHAN!!!!” Ayumi half shouted/ half greeted her best friend as soon as the door to their mansion opened.

“Thanks!!! You really have a way with greetings right?” Rika rolled her eyes and opened the door wider for her best friend to get inside.

“Well, you squealed at my ears many times when you’re fangirling over Ohyass and Three-Tums. It’s just a little payback for making me deaf for many years now.”

“Geez, Ayu, you are so thoughtful. You haven’t forgotten that.” Rika replied sarcastically and then the two started laughing.

“Share the happiness with me.” The two looked towards the direction of the voice and saw Rika’s mother in the dining hall. Ayumi skipped towards her and hugged her best friend’s mom, which she considered as her second mom.

“Ka-san!!! You look gorgeous in that dress.” Ayumi complimented.

“Thank you Ayu. Now that’s what you call a compliment, right Rika.”

“Ka-san… you’re not a teenager anymore… It doesn’t fit your image.” Rika replied which earned her a light nudged courtesy of her best friend.

“Come on Rika. It looks nice on her.. Just chill ok? It’s sometimes good to try the unconventional rather than the tradition.” Mrs. Ishikawa nodded her head in approval as she pat the shoulders of Ayumi.

“Now, who’s hungry?”

“Happy birthday Rika!” Mr. Ishikawa greeted as soon as he entered the dining hall. The three of them started eating the appetizer when Mr. Ishikawa arrived. Rika got up from her chair and hugged her father.

“You’re late. And you’re the one who doesn’t want to be late.”

“Just got stopped by someone.” Mr. Ishikawa moved away from her daughter and went to kiss his wife before sitting in his chair. Today was exclusively a family celebration. Rika celebrated her birthday party last night at their main office. Ayumi’s parents were present there too but they had to excuse their selves early to catch their flight to America for a business trip. Most of the executives of the other branch were present like Mr. Nishida of Saitama branch and Ms. Abe of Hokkaido. Hitomi was also there too and she gave Rika a watch as a gift. She then handed her a pink folder. Hitomi whispered to her that she really tried hard to write that ‘kind’ of story; a steamy and ero fic about her favorite pairing, TanaKamei. The party ended an hour after midnight but through that time, Rika felt lonely… She’s missing someone badly.

“Why didn’t you go to the party last night?” Mr. Ishikawa directed her question at Ayumi.

“I already told Rika-chan about it a week ago… She didn’t tell you?”

“Sorry, I forgot! Ahahahaha.” Ayumi playfully hit the back of Rika’s head, making her jerk forward a little.

“Oh by the way. Here’s your REAL gift, last night was just a prelude.” Mr. Ishikawa handed her daughter a small envelop. Rika looked quizzically at her father as she was thinking what was inside.

“Is it a check? A gift check? Another ticket to a Hanshin game? A plane ticket for my visit to another branch?”

“Why don’t you open it now?” Mrs. Ishikawa smiled at her daughter. Ayumi nudged her so Rika peeled the sides and pulled out its contents. Rika and Ayumi was shocked at what Rika received as a gift.

“You two have fun in watching that concert. Just make sure you’ll be back after midnight.” Mr. Ishikawa said as he drank his coffee. The two were still speechless. Mr. Ishikawa gave them a VIP ticket to the Hello! Project’s Chinese New Year Concert next month where Three-Tums and Futari are going to perform. Ayumi finally decided to say something after being awestruck for a minute.

“I told you, your parents are cool.” Ayumi nudged at her immobilized friend. Rika looked seriously at her father.

“Wha…wh… how.. did you find out?”

“Well, it’s because you left your ‘secret’ cabinet unlocked when you were still in college and when I opened it, I was greeted by anime and Three-Tums paraphernalia.” Rika’s father smirked as he remembered something. “Tanakamei Forever huh… If you asked me, I like the yankii and narcissist combo.”

“YEAH!!!!Wat to gO To-chan!!!! TanaShige rocks right?” Ayumi yelled excitedly as she shook the hands of Rika’s father. Rika was shocked at the revelation. She felt like someone possessed her father. Her ‘real’ father wouldn’t act like that. She turned her attention to her ‘unmoved’ mother, as if asking for a help or explanation. Her mother looked towards her and smiled warmly.

“If you ask me,I like the KameShige pairing. Best friend’s still the best, right, Rika and Ayumi?”

“KASAN!!! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?! Ayu’s JUST my best friend!!”

“Yeah ka-san, Rika already has Rein…hmphh!” Rika quickly covered her friend’s mouth before she spilled anything ‘confidential’. Her parents grinned at her.

“Rika, let go of your best friend’s mouth… I’ll ask her something.” Mr. Ishikawa said sternly.


“Rika….. let her go.” Rika has no choice but to obey the words of her father. She leaned back on her chair and glared at Ayumi. Mr. Ishikawa turned her attention to her daughter’s best friend who was slightly shaking from the glare of Rika.

“Now Ayumi, can you repeat what you’ve said earlier?”

“Uhhh… Rika already has Reina. You know.. She idolizes Reina so much. Ahahahaha.”

“Oh really? I thought that she’s more of an Eri fan because there are tons of Eri’s posters on her cabinet.”

“And don’t forget Eri’s photobooks, dear. She completed all the releases.” Mrs. Ishikawa followed. Rika was sure that her face was bright red from embarrassment.

“Of course, she’s my daughter. I know she would complete that. Just like my collection of Dragonball.”

“eehh?!?! To-chan.. are you… an otaku before?” Ayumi questioned.

“Yeah… and you know what.” Mr. Ishikawa looked at Rika, “your mother and I met in an Anime Convention where there’s a concert of SMAP.”

“NO WAY!!!”

Rika entered her room and went directly to her table where her laptop was awaiting her. There were many things that she learned today. She learned that her father was an anime otaku while her mother was so into SMAP. Her father showed her his ‘secret’ cabinet full of dragonball DVD’s, figurines and other things. She opened her laptop and decided to write something before her birthday was officially finished.

After all, she promised it.

Second Chance

“Ohayou minna!”

“Ohayou Ms. Michishige!” The people in the boutique answered as the raven-haired girl entered. Sayumi Michishige, the daughter of the owner and president of a certain brand of perfume, went to manage the newly opened store in Kobe. She will stay there for a month or two until she saw that the store can stand alone. Before she was assigned by her father there, she was the store manager of the Saitama branch for three months. Apparently, her father opened another branch in Hokkaido so she was sent there to train the people working in there. She’s a good leader, daughter and person but there’s only one flaw to her excellent personality…. She’s a closet Otaku. Most people associate the word OTAKU with men but there are also girl’s like her who are addicted to Anime. As a proof, she has a collection of manga, Anime DVD’s and MP3’s, posters, cards, magazines, etc. in their house. She even had some costumes of her favorite Anime characters which she always wear in Anime conventions, which her parents didn’t even know.

The Kobe branch is much smaller than in the pioneer store in Hokkaido. There were only five of them inside the store. She was close with all of them except with the management trainee. Managers were supposed to look approachable and friendly but this girl was somewhat different. She was warm and caring when it comes with the customers but when there were no people in the shop, she preferred to be left alone.

“Good morning Tanaka-san! Let’s have fun today!” Sayumi greeted the new management trainee but was answered by a snob. She’s the boss and her subordinate was acting like this towards her. A way to punish insubordination was by suspension but Sayumi tried to restrain her ‘evil’ side and tried to be civil first. What she meant by ‘civil’ is by ‘teasing’ the other girl.

And that’s what the boss was doing every single day. And every single day, her efforts were being returned in a form of snob, glare, hiss and a frown. It went for a week and Sayumi was really considering making a verbal and written warning before suspending the girl but a miracle happened.

“Isn’t that the DVD of the new season of Kyou Kara Maou?” Sayumi’s eyes widened. Her ‘secret’ has been out and most importantly, the one who saw it was Ms. ‘Glaring’ girl.

“Uhhh… yeah.”

“Ahhh, there are many Yaoi parts in there especially between Yuri and Wolfram.” Sayumi turned around and stared at the girl behind her who was grinning widely. “And the ending was just priceless.”

“NO WAY?!? YOU KNOW THIS ANIME!?!?” Reina swiftly covered her boss’ mouth as the other staffs were looking at their direction.

“Ahahahaha, don’t mind us. We’re just discussing something about the monthly sales analysis.” Reina lied. The staffs went back to their work. “Geez, do you plan on telling the whole world that you’re an otaku? Do you want the staffs to make fun at you because of that?” Reina whispered as she let her hands off Sayumi’s mouth.

“Thanks… you’re an otaku too?” Reina just replied with a smile. And that’s the start of a beautiful friendship between the two.
“Reina, can I borrow your Vandread DVD?” Sayumi asked as she scanned the DVD collection of her friend while she was waiting for the other to finish her bath. Reina yelled her affirmation. “Reina, can I borrow your Ouran Host Club DVD?”


“Reina, can I borrow your Tsubasa Chronicle DVD?” This time, there was no answer. “Reina? Can I...” The door of the bathroom opened and Reina came out with a white towel draped on her body.

“Just get what you want to borrow.” Reina said casually but the other one was not listening to her intently because the other one was busy staring at her. “Hey… Did you hear what I said?”

“Uhh.. yeah.. I heard it. Thanks.” Sayumi quickly move her attention back on the DVD’s but her mind was constantly showing Reina’s body.

“Geez… this is the result of watching too much yuri animes…”

“Good Morning! Welcome to…”

“Reina!!!!” Sayumi’s eyes twitched as the girl with a toothy-grin ran past her.

“Oi, Eririn.. Wacha doin’ here?” Sayumi has only a little knowledge about dialects but she knew that Reina just said that in Hakata-ben. She turned around and saw the ‘girl’ hugging Reina. Reina saw her questioning eyes and move away from the girl.

“Ms. Michishige, this is my best friend, Kamei Eri.” Then turning to the girl, “Eri, this is the owner of this store, Michishige Sayumi.” With that said, Sayumi saw the girl’s eyes widened in surprise.


“Yeah.” Sayumi tried to say it in a nice way but she was sure that she sounded proud there.

“I’M SO SORRRRRYY!!!!! REALLY!!!! I’M SORRRY!!!! I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE THE OWNER!!!! SORRRRRRRRYYYY~!” Eri started bowing down excessively that Sayumi and Reina were getting dizzy over her. Reina held her back to stop her. Reina turned towards Sayumi.

“Sorry about that.. She’s the Ahou-Queen.”

“Hey! I’m your best friend but you’re ruining the name of the turtles in front of your boss!” Sayumi chuckled. Eri was a complete opposite of Reina and she was wondering how the two ended up being best friends.

“Hey, it’s okay. Tanaka-san, why don’t you take your break and talk to your best friend. I’ll take over for now.”

For the next five days, the three spent time together. Eri was into anime too and the three of them would have a pajama party at Reina’s house where they will watch different animes until the wee hours of the morning. And on their last night, the truth came out one night.

The three of them were sleeping together in Reina’s not so wide bed. Reina was in the middle while the two were on the side. Sayumi was awoken by some whispers coming from the two. She didn’t open her eyes and just listened intently on the conversation.

“Reina. Please, come back to me.”

“I can’t. I’m busy here.”

“You can’t or you don’t want to?”

“Let’s not talk about it tonight. She might wake up.”

“Ohh… so you’re busy with your boss. I should have known.”

Sayumi resisted opening her eyes. The topic was about her. She tried to control her breathing so Reina wouldn’t feel that she’s becoming tense and thus blowing up her cover.

“Eri, I already told you before… I can’t love you the way you loved me. You’re my best friend. I don’t want to ruin that and besides, you have Gaki-san now.”

“We’re already through because you’re the one I truly love! Can’t you understand that? I tried loving Risa the way I loved you but… I can’t seem to forget you.” Sayumi can hear Eri’s light sobs. Reina moved a little bit towards her best friend’s direction.

“Look, you can’t love two persons with the same zeal for each. The result will always vary because those two people are not the same. Well, sorry if I can’t fully explain it to you, but I hope you grasp the idea there.”

“Please, I beg you… just try to love me… more than a best friend. Even just for a day.” Eri begged. Sayumi felt Eri’s arm on Reina’s hips, tightened.

“I don’t know about that…”

“Hey, where’s your alien friend?” Sayumi asked even though she knew the answer. She was awake pretending to be asleep when the turtle left the kitten’s apartment.

“She went back to our home town. An emergency came up.”


“Yeah… so, what are you up to today? There are still lots of animes to choose from.” Reina asked, forcing a smile on her face which Sayumi quickly noticed.

“Why don’t you follow your friend? It’s clear that you’re somewhat lonely today.”

“I’m not lonely? I’m glad that ahou-queen was not pestering me.” Sayumi thought deeply. Maybe a little ‘push’ will help her friend realize something.

“If that’s the case then, let’s enjoy ourselves together. How about watching Strawberry Panic together?” Sayumi inched her way closer towards Reina which caught the other off guard.

“Wacha doin’?!” Reina blurted in her native tongue as Sayumi caressed her face.

“Come on… I know you think that I’m hot and sexy.” Sayumi leaned forward to whisper something on Reina’s ears. “What are you waiting for?” Sayumi moved forward to kiss Reina’s lips when the other pushed her away.

“Hey! What the hell are you doing?!”

“Reina… I’m your boss, you should do what I told you or else, you’re fired.”

“No I won’t I would rather kiss Eri than you!” Sayumi pointed at the shorter girl while grinning widely.

“AHA!!! Now the truth finally came out from your own mouth! You love your best friend!!!”

“Ehhh?!? NO!!! I was just… I was just…”

“I heard your conversation earlier… She went away because she was broken hearted courtesy of you. What are you afraid of? She really loves you very much and I know she won’t do something that will hurt you.” Reina decided to remain quiet. Sayumi can see that the other was contemplating. “Look, just follow what your heart says. Don’t mind what the other people will say to you. It’s your own life.” Reina’s eyes lit up as she looked at Sayumi’s warm smile.

“Go to her and ask for a second chance.”

The End

Written by : Charmy
Posted : January 19

oh yeah..that's the ending!!! *runs off to hide from those who wants to kill her*
that's the last chapter but I'll make an epilogue..hehehehe..fooled you there.XD

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2 comments: to “ Fangirl 14

  • Anonymous
    20 January 2010 at 2:15 AM  

    You suck! You had me think the ending would be bad! And then this! Bah! It's so open I could throw money at it and it would just like, fall right through it because it is so very open lol. Jokes.

    My interpretation.

    You tried to confuse us all there by switching the roles around but in the end, (and since this was written by Rika, so Hellooo~) I reckon it's Rika's way of telling Miki she wants to give their relationship a go!~ :D

    Cause its not like this actually happened, but it did sorta. Its like, Sayu is Ayu basically XD and she's pushing Reina/Rika to admit that she loves Eri/Miki and to give their relationship a try. Because Rika loves Miki. She didn't know it at first but now. Unless it's Rika trying to convince Miki to go out with Yoshi lol in which case SWEET-AH~! lolz but I doubt it. THe characters may be confusing but the message is loud and clear.

    PS I know it says "written by charmy" and stuff but PEOPLEZ DONT GET CONFUSED, I DIDNT WRITE THAT STORY! I hadn't thought of that first.... demmit XD" anyway that charmy in between the "Fangirl 14" and the "End of chapter __comments" thing is the other charmy. I know its confusing but that's life yo (>)_(<)

    mwah and thank you for that update.


    You do realise that now you owe us that chappie Yoshi wrote. You know which one ;) the rabu rabu one that she wrote about Reina/Eri or whatever lolz hahaha. And this better not be your twisted way of insinuating something. THought in the story Eri was gay Yoshi and Reina was Miki so if it is then I wont mind. Just keep it with no more than 2 people and we'll be fine lol.

    Thank you again.

    And thank you Mrs Rika's mom for giving birth to her so early in the year... Imagine me waiting till like March for this lol I'd kill everyone on sight XD

  • cogi_yoshi
    25 January 2010 at 12:23 AM  

    ahahahaha...yeah...it's open ended...that's why I'm telling you since..chapter 6 or 7...that the readers (you) might want to kill me..ahahahah.XD

    and why you always put the characters not involved at the story? There's no Aya there... it's just Rika and Miki... Miki being Eri... and Sayu being the inner 'charmy' and Reina as the businesswoman Rika...and yes...the message is loud and clear...ahahaha..just wait for the epilogue...and I'll definitely will not post it this month.>XD


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