I’m One of the muses, A common wood nymph roaming around Parnassus, Happy with my little sweet pea. With her delicate, fragrant flowers Carried on long, slim stalks, She captivated me. I ran to her flaming with desire. I am flaming. Burning Blazing with desire. Too hot for my sweet pea. Because she’s so delicate, So delicate for me. As I touch her, she transformed into ashes. I burnt her. And out of a haze, you were formed. Like smoke given out by fire. A fireweed that sprang up in the burnt over area. A replacement, I thought. You quenched my thirst. Suffuse my hunger. My desire. I came to you for a crown And you gave me a kingdom. You made me eat on a golden plate And drink from your cup of diamonds. But like a common pitcher plant, Cut your base open And there you’ll find my body’s remains trapped inside. A pitfall in the middle of the forest. I will name you Venus? The goddess with a seducing brilliant red trap. Open to all beings that needs nurturing. Show your bosom and all will crave for your milk. From a butterfly, you turned me to an ant. When I brushed only slightly against your skin, You closed within an instant. Rigid spines on the margins of you blades interlock tightly. As soon as I was trapped, You digested me. Used me as a nutrient material. I know this is about to last for only a week. By the time your leaf reopens, You’ll be reedy for other sufferers. Trapped inside, I accepted my fate. Then there she came one spring day. My little delicate sweet pea. Now a spring beauty in full bloom. A low perennial herb. With narrow, succulent leaves And loose cluster of white and pink flowers. But your leaf has closed. I cannot escape.

Fangirl 10.5  

7/05/2009

Ahahaha...Why did I post it when I haven't posted the chapter 10? The truth is... I DON'T REALLY KNOW!!! Maybe because Sayumi's birthday is coming up and this one will serve as my b-day fic for her. Oh, and I don't forget my promised Yoshizawa b-day fic... Glad my 1kb memory's still working. I'll just post it when I'll post the chapter 10 or 11... because it contains a lot of info..Ahahaha.. Many will kill me for the ending... I just have a hunch. Anyways, here's the angst, emo... whatever you call it... chapter/b-day fic of Sayumi. I inserted something I read from Kata's poll...Hehehe. So the ending turned out not so-emo..LOL.Enjoy!XD

BTW, someone owed me three updates..XD



“Hey… Eri.. Please wake up.. Don’t leave me…” I cried beside the hospital bed while holding Eri’s limp hands. I decided to skip school for the sake of my best friend. A part of me was also guilty for what happened to her. If I only watched the time… this wouldn’t happen to her. I felt Eri’s hand twitch a little. I quickly wiped off my tears and faced her. I can’t let her see me in this state. “Eri?”

Eri’s head moved towards my direction and opened her eyes. “Are you crying?” Eri asked in a weak, hoarse voice. I bit my lip. She still worries about me even in her current state.

“No, I just woke up. You know, tired from all that playing, not getting any sleep… Hmmm, what else…”

“You didn’t go to school?”

“Why would I when you’re here in the hospital?” I just can’t leave her alone right? I’m the only support she has right now. Her aunt was out of town two days ago. I really can’t leave her.

“Come on Sayu. This is nothing. You should go to school right now.”

“Nothing?” My inner self wanted to explode. I know I have to be nice with her but this is too much. “So being confined in this hospital, and having yourself injected with medicines and stuff is nothing?!” That’s it. My sarcastic side showed up. And Eri looking at me innocently wasn’t going to help ease my anger. “Why can’t you just…”

“What? Blame my condition?” I stopped and looked at Eri. She still has that innocent look in her eyes but behind that look, I can see something… I don’t know what is it but it’s more like a look of determination. “Look, Sayu. I have this illness ever since I was born. There’s no known cure for this. But I still have this positive outlook. I don’t know when will I die but I’m prepared for it. I just want to treasure all my experiences so I will not regret it later. I just face every challenge with a smile.” At this, my heart wanted to burst. Did she just say the word ‘die’? As if I would let it happen to her.

“You cannot die! You will not leave me alone right?!” There Eri saw the real me. The mysterious me suddenly resurfaced because of that word. The truth is… I’m weak. I just become strong whenever Eri’s with me. And now, I’m showing her my weakness at the wrong time.

“Sayu, you have to understand, EVERYBODY will die. But the hard part is that if we die earlier than expected. That’s why you have to live your life to the fullest every day; because you will never when will your time comes.” I don’t know what the problem with Eri is. She can say those words easily. The tears that I’ve been trying to stop were now freely falling from my cheeks. I just hate this topic. I felt Eri’s other hand wipe away my tears.

“Come on Sayu. Don’t cry. Be the strong Sayumi that I always knew. Even when I’m gone physically, I’ll reside inside your heart. You made a big room for me right?” Eri said those words softly. From the tone of her voice, I know that she’s on the verge of crying too. The only thing I can do now is to somehow divert the topic.

“Yes… complete with a queen-sized bed, a large wardrobe and lots of toys… For only 1 million yen a month!”

“That’s a little bit pricey. Don’t I have a discount? Come on! I’m your best friend!” Eri whined.

“Hmmm, I’ll think about that… How about giving me a kiss?”I playfully asked her. I like this topic better than the other one. Don’t get me wrong… I’m straight. But I don’t know about her. And if she’s going to die, I need to clarify it before she goes.

“Okay, that’s it. I’m tired and I want to sleep.” There… She’s clearly avoiding the topic. But she needed to ‘face the challenge’ right at this moment.

“Before you go to sleep, let me see your left hand.”

“Ok… but you’re holding it tightly…” I gave her a puzzled look. Eri pointed at my left hand. It’s true. I’m still holding her hand.

“Ohhh… Didn’t notice that… Anyway, hold still.” I looked closely and compared her ring finger and index finger.

“What are you looking for?” I didn’t answer her. Instead I showed her her fingers.

“See this? Which do you think is longer… your middle finger or your ring finger?” Eri squinted her eyes, and after a few seconds she came up with an answer that made me smile.

“My ring finger?”

“I thought so too…”

“What about it?”

“Well, I read this article in the net… basically it’s about hormones and stuffs and then it says that a person who’s ring finger is taller than the index finger… is a homo.”

“What?!?”

“Yeah… Don’t try to deny it anymore… You like girls… You like Reina.” I would laugh out loud if we’re not in the hospital but Eri’s blush and reaction was really funny.

“Ahhh… no.. It’s just that…”

“Come on, what’s wrong with that? Oh yeah… I think the only wrong thing that you have done is that you have a crush on someone who’s not as cute as me… Geez, you know, it’s painful on my part! I’m the cutest girl around!” I don’t care if I sounded narcissistic with that but those types of comments were the ones bringing Eri’s smile.

“Still as narcissistic as ever.. Fine, all for that discount… I think I have a crush on her. But I guess it’s no use continuing it.” There were two meanings behind that statement of hers. One is that it’s no use continuing because Reina might freak out or… because she will die sooner. I really hate this topic!!!

“Sayu, can I have one wish….”

“What…”

“Reina’s a good person. Please remain a good friend to her no matter what happens.”

TBC



ahahaha...sleepy now... sorry for the abrupt ending..XD

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2 comments: to “ Fangirl 10.5

  • charmy
    5 July 2009 at 11:37 AM  

    Awww.... Hey! I was right! wooohooo !~ yeyeyeyeyey!~ lol, I almost feel sorry for Rika getting these updates after the real charmy (me) haha she has to wait longer -it's cause she doesn't know she's tight with the writer and thus does not bug the writer for updates all the time... which reminds me, my daily "post an update" email should be arriving in your inbox any moment now lol.

    hehe about the updates... sorry, got a bit busy with life X_X.
    But i'll put up an update by the end of today.. it's juts that I can't write much though cause I have a test to study for tomorow, in a subject I'm not so good in and to top it all of it's a topic we haven't studied for a while so... yeah.. I have to basically relearn everything from the start again..

    BUT I promise to put up at least one chapter today! I just have to clear my room cause it's sooo bad for the chi that I have a gazilion books lying around everywhere (plus I wanna vacuum cause ... well I gotz pop corn all over the floor last week and hadn't had time to clean up ... and am afraid of those mean gigantic roaches... they have knives and stuff and Mexican accents.. dunno why though... Anyway I just wanna clean up a bitty bit, then I'll do the update and then the work (then I might be able to read one of the 8ish books I have that I'm reading... at once.... damn, I should really stop doing that..) plus I have to prepare for yet another exam on Wednesday... and hopefuly find that essay I did cause if I don't then i'm screwed (though it's the teacher who should be looking for that cause she lost the copy I gave her, the one with her notes and shtuff but according to her it was great and she wrote nothing on it or something so there was nothing to take notice of, except that I needed more quotes-can you believe it? bah! ) anyway, I'm just really swamped right now X_X sorry. but if it was up to me there'd be like 6 updates up and you'd be like "oh shiz! I haz to update! TWICE!" mmhmmm!

    now I'll stop before going over my limit of words etc... which I tend to do way too often.

  • nekoism
    6 July 2009 at 9:09 AM  

    YAPPARI.

    NOW MY THOUGHTS ARE CONFIRMED. >:D

    Immona go ask others around about THAT. >:D

 

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