I’m One of the muses, A common wood nymph roaming around Parnassus, Happy with my little sweet pea. With her delicate, fragrant flowers Carried on long, slim stalks, She captivated me. I ran to her flaming with desire. I am flaming. Burning Blazing with desire. Too hot for my sweet pea. Because she’s so delicate, So delicate for me. As I touch her, she transformed into ashes. I burnt her. And out of a haze, you were formed. Like smoke given out by fire. A fireweed that sprang up in the burnt over area. A replacement, I thought. You quenched my thirst. Suffuse my hunger. My desire. I came to you for a crown And you gave me a kingdom. You made me eat on a golden plate And drink from your cup of diamonds. But like a common pitcher plant, Cut your base open And there you’ll find my body’s remains trapped inside. A pitfall in the middle of the forest. I will name you Venus? The goddess with a seducing brilliant red trap. Open to all beings that needs nurturing. Show your bosom and all will crave for your milk. From a butterfly, you turned me to an ant. When I brushed only slightly against your skin, You closed within an instant. Rigid spines on the margins of you blades interlock tightly. As soon as I was trapped, You digested me. Used me as a nutrient material. I know this is about to last for only a week. By the time your leaf reopens, You’ll be reedy for other sufferers. Trapped inside, I accepted my fate. Then there she came one spring day. My little delicate sweet pea. Now a spring beauty in full bloom. A low perennial herb. With narrow, succulent leaves And loose cluster of white and pink flowers. But your leaf has closed. I cannot escape.

When I'm Angry  

2/25/2008

Advance happy birthday Miki!!! But this story is somewhat ansty... not suitable for a b-day fic...anyways.. enjoy! Hehehe...XD



When I’m angry
My blood’s heated up
I feel like I wanna kill
I say bad words
I can’t control myself
When I’m angry I cry


“Hey Miki, are you alright?” Hitomi asked as she saw Miki passed her by with an angry look.

“Damatte-yo!!”

“Woah, is that the right way to treat your friend?” Hitomi tried to catch up and ran towards her. She put her hands on Miki’s shoulder in which the other removed immediately.

“Nani yo?! Don’t you dare touch me your dirty hands!”

“Eh? What the heck are you saying? I don’t understand you.”

“Leave me alone… Kono kuso-onna!” Miki said forcefully before running towards the elevator. She quickly pushed the close button when she saw that Hitomi was running after her.

When I’m angry
I look them in the eye
With a killer stare
I glare and kill them
With one look
When I’m angry I cry


Miki glared at everyone that she came across with. Sayumi wanted to approach her but then, she didn’t want to be scolded with an angry Fujimoto.

“What happened with her?” Reina asked Eri. Eri tried to imitate a psychic. She closed her eyes and raised her hands, with her palms upwards, on shoulder level. She began humming to herself.

“Ahhhhhhhm…… Ahhhhmmmm. I can see that Fujimoto’s angry with two persons….”

“Yeah right… we’re not filming Hello! Morning this time so will you quit that act?” Eri opened her eyes and looked at Reina.

“But it’s true! She’s angry with Aya and Hitomi… I can feel it.”

“You’re really weird.”
When I’m angry
I hurt myself
I punch the hardest thing
My fist could lay on
I break anything my
Hand grasps the nearest
When I’m angry I cry


Miki closed her door with a loud bang. She closed her fist and punched her bedroom wall as hard as she can. Her anger made her numb. She kept on punching the wall until her fists were already bleeding. She caught a glimpse of her table, and went in that direction. She threw the magazines on top of her table. Miki looked at the frame with her and Aya smiling. The glass shattered into pieces as she threw the frame on the wall. And as if she’s still not satisfied, she hurled every thing that she can get; table lamp, bed sheet, pillows, clock… She didn’t mind when her feet were bleeding due to the broken pieces of glass. She just wanted to destroy anything she touches.

When I’m angry
I feel like I could kill
When I’m angry
I feel I want to die
I feel great hatred
And it hurts inside
When I’m angry
Silence fills my mind


It was in that middle of destruction when the door of her room open and Aya entered.

“What are you doing?!” Aya went towards her friend but Miki just pushed her back.

“Leave me alone! I don’t want to talk with you ever again!” Miki got a pillow and threw it at Aya’s face. Aya quickly dodge it. She walked towards Miki but was surprised when Miki pushed her towards the wall and grabbed her neck.

“I told you to leave me alone! From this day on… forget that I exist!” Miki tightened her grasps on Aya’s neck. Aya’s color was slowly draining from her face. Miki bit her lip and released her victim. Aya coughed out.

A silence that stops my
Mouth from opening
To prevent me
From saying something
One day I’ll regret
So instead tears fall
From my eyes
Tears of anger
Tears of pain filled up
To the bottom of my heart


Miki stepped back a little as she let Aya catch some air.
“I don’t want to see your face again you… you….” Miki didn’t continue what she wanted to say. Deep in her heart, she didn’t want to say harsh things to her. She let her tears fall instead. She didn’t know whether it’s because of anger or pain… she’s really confused right now. A part of her wanted to hurt Aya, and the other wanted to protect her but one thing’s for sure, she was glad that she stopped herself from saying those things to Aya for she know that she will regret it in the future.

When I’m angry
I’d just shut up
And sit in one corner
When I’m angry, I cry
I don’t want to cry anymore


Miki turned around and sat on one corner of her room. She hugged her knees, buried her face on her knees and cried silently. Aya stood up and went towards her friend. She went here as soon as Hitomi told her what happened earlier. She have a hunch why Miki’s angry, but she needed her to say it in front of her face.

“Why are you sulking there? If you’re angry at me… punch me or kick me… I don’t mind just as long as I know why you’re doing that to me.”

“Please, just leave me alone.” Miki said in a barely audible voice. Her sniffles were making it hard for her to say anything. Aya approached her and hugged her tightly. Miki couldn’t get out no matter how hard she tried. All of her energy was drained from all the destruction that she did earlier. “Please… I don’t want to be hurt anymore… I don’t want to cry anymore…”

“Who said that I’ll make you cry? What really happened to you? How can we fix this if don’t tell me the real reason why you’re angry?” Miki shook her head and continued to
cry silently. Aya gave up.

“Is it about Hitomi and me? Did you see something that you shouldn’t have seen?” Miki didn’t answer her directly but from what Aya observed, Miki’s clenched her hands tighter, her breathing became erratic and somehow, she stopped crying.

“I guess you saw her kissing me in the dressing room right? But it’s not what you think…”

“I don’t want to hear any of your excuses… please leave now!” Miki said with her face still buried in her knees. Aya sighed and released her arms on her friend.

“Fine, I’ll let you rest for now but what I’m about to tell you is the truth.” Aya sighed out loud before continuing. “I’ve asked her to kiss me because I know that she can teach me to kiss a girl. You know that Hitomi and Rika were together right? Don’t you know that in our new PV single, I have to initiate a kiss? Since Hitomi and you were good friends, I’ve asked her, with the permission of Rika of course, to teach me some possible ways on how to kiss you. I know it sounds dumb but it’s the truth, you can even ask Eri. She was with us.”

Aya patted Miki’s shoulder before standing up. She was about to walk away from her when Miki’s hand stopped her from moving.

“Is it really the truth?”

Aya smiled. “Yes, it’s the truth. You know that I’ll not lie to you right?” Miki raise her head and smiled for the first time that day. She didn’t move from her position. She was really exhausted. Now that her anger left her, she felt the pain from her fist and feet. Aya got her handkerchief and wiped Miki’s bleeding hands.

“What do you think you’re doing with your life? You’re an idol and you know that idols mustn’t have scars right?”

“You made me do this…” Miki replied softly. Aya noticed that Miki’s already exhausted. She helped her stand up and washed her wounds. She fixed Miki’s bed first before she laid her sleepy friend.

Aya cleaned some of the mess that Miki did earlier. She noticed a piece of paper lying on the floor and picked it up. She read it and tried to suppress her laugh. “Woah…. You know, you can add this line if you want to….

‘When I’m angry, I become poetic… so that Ayaya can laugh at all the things that I wrote when we’re back together.”

“Shut up Aya! Do you want me to get angry at you again?!”


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2 comments: to “ When I'm Angry

  • GenX
    26 February 2008 at 4:23 AM  

    poor Miki but I can't avoid to laugh at the end xD
    Eri xD so she knows what she said Reina because she was with Aya and Yossy hahahaha
    yeah... good story

  • cogi_yoshi
    7 March 2008 at 8:23 AM  

    I plan to really really really make it a 'angsty' but 'fluffy'fic since I've thought of wtiting it last Oct... but I'm still not good at writing that stuff... So I just decided to make a turn in the end and have a funny ending...Lol..XD

 

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