I’m One of the muses, A common wood nymph roaming around Parnassus, Happy with my little sweet pea. With her delicate, fragrant flowers Carried on long, slim stalks, She captivated me. I ran to her flaming with desire. I am flaming. Burning Blazing with desire. Too hot for my sweet pea. Because she’s so delicate, So delicate for me. As I touch her, she transformed into ashes. I burnt her. And out of a haze, you were formed. Like smoke given out by fire. A fireweed that sprang up in the burnt over area. A replacement, I thought. You quenched my thirst. Suffuse my hunger. My desire. I came to you for a crown And you gave me a kingdom. You made me eat on a golden plate And drink from your cup of diamonds. But like a common pitcher plant, Cut your base open And there you’ll find my body’s remains trapped inside. A pitfall in the middle of the forest. I will name you Venus? The goddess with a seducing brilliant red trap. Open to all beings that needs nurturing. Show your bosom and all will crave for your milk. From a butterfly, you turned me to an ant. When I brushed only slightly against your skin, You closed within an instant. Rigid spines on the margins of you blades interlock tightly. As soon as I was trapped, You digested me. Used me as a nutrient material. I know this is about to last for only a week. By the time your leaf reopens, You’ll be reedy for other sufferers. Trapped inside, I accepted my fate. Then there she came one spring day. My little delicate sweet pea. Now a spring beauty in full bloom. A low perennial herb. With narrow, succulent leaves And loose cluster of white and pink flowers. But your leaf has closed. I cannot escape.

Chapter 34  


chapter 34

“Woah! You didn’t tell me that you already had the latest volume of the Deathnote manga?!” Hitomi got the book at Miki’s table. She quickly jumped on Miki’s bed and read the summary at the back part of the book.

“That’s the reason why I went out of the school immediately after class… Now, were not here to read that new manga… We’re here to talk about something that’s bothering you...” Miki sat beside Hitomi and removed the manga from Hitomi’s hands.


“No, this is mine… I’ll let you borrow this after I’ve finished reading this… and after you’ve told me your problem or something...”

“But I don’t have any problems…”

“Then tell me what were you thinking while you were on the balcony?” Miki laid on her bed and looked at Hitomi seriously. Hitomi turned the light off from the lamp beside her and turned her back towards Miki. She could not stand the look on Miki’s eyes. Mixed emotions like sadness, anger and worry could be clearly seen…

“Well, it’s nothing really… I’ve… I’ve just heard some weird story…”

“And what’s that story?”

“Uhmm, there… there’s this girl… who likes on somebody…”

“That’s not new…”

“She has a crush with another girl….”

“EHH?!?” Miki was shocked to hear that kind of news. They heard their mother knocking on Miki’s room.

“Hey, I’ll separate the two of you if you don’t sleep now!” Both of them were silent for a couple of minutes… Hitomi whispered first.

“It’s weird right?”

Miki hugged her sister and tried to turn Hitomi towards her. They were face to face now. “I don’t think it’s a weird story…”

Even if Miki’s room was dark and only the light coming from the moon was the source of illumination, she could clearly see the sincerity in her sister’s eyes. “W.. why?”

“Why? Well, I guess its ok for someone to have a crush on the same sex… I mean… We’re in the 21st century now… There are girls that look like guys and guys that look like girls… It’s their preference not ours and we have to respect and accept them as they are.” Miki stated in a matter-of-fact tone. “You weren’t listening to our gender sensitivity forum last year right?”

“I felt it’s somewhat boring that’s why I slept the whole time… And you were listening because….?” Hitomi asked teasingly.

“Nothing… It just looked like an interesting topic…”

“Is that all? C’mon… You can tell me the truth…” Hitomi started to tickle her sister on her side.

“Stop it! Mom will hear us…” Miki tried to avoid making loud noises. She fought back and tickled her sister too.

“I won’t stop if you don’t tell me…”

“What is there to tell you!?!”

A knock was heard from the other room. Both of them stopped immediately.

“I just thought that you were ONE of them…” Hitomi whispered

“Ehh? What do you mean by that?”

“Well, you don’t let anyone get near me… that’s understandable because of what happened before but… you don’t let me get close to other girls as well…”

“And your point is?”

“My point is… actually it’s just a theory but I thought that you were just doing it because… you’re preventing me to become like you are…Well, I know that I look like a guy because of my hairdo, and girls seems to flock near me… But I just thought that you don’t want another… ‘gay’ member in our family…”

“…. What made you think that theory? Do you have any relevant ‘facts’ about me being gay?” Miki turned her back to Hitomi.

“I don’t have any solid proofs…but I do know that your behavior changed ever since Ishikawa-san became our classmate… Am I right?” Miki didn’t respond…

“I’m correct, right?…. I saw you looking at her in the school’s corridor… You tried to invite her to join our lunch… which you normally wouldn’t do to somebody… and… I guess you liked her because … she’s the only person who defied you and she’s cute …” Hitomi said the last sentence with a hint of sadness. She was thinking about Rika the whole time that she was in the balcony. She was weighing her feelings towards her. The first time she saw Rika, her heart beat very fast… She felt that she had known her somewhere before. And then she started feeling doubts about her real gender. Any normal girl wouldn’t felt that way towards another girl. After Miki said that they’re in the 21st century now and relationships like that were some what normal, she started to see a ray of hope about her new found love but… If her hunch about Miki having a crush on Rika is true, then that means that her rival would be her own sister…

“Onee-san, am I right?” Hitomi sat up and looked at Miki’s face… She saw that her sister was already sleeping peacefully. She was tempted to hit Miki’s face for letting her ramble on things without knowing that Miki’s not listening anymore. She was really annoyed at her sister’s unique characteristic. Miki was a fast sleeper and could sleep anywhere, anytime. She even remembered that they played Tekken on their PS2 last year until the wee hours of the morning and Miki slept at the bus… while standing because the seats were already occupied. Hitomi just plop down brusquely and slept.

Miki opened her eyes and grinned when she felt that her sister already laid down beside her.
“Yeah, you’re right… I’m gay…”

Rika stood up and opened her window to breathe in some fresh air. She looked back at her sleeping friend on her bed. They talked about many things even though they just moved to Tokyo a week ago. The moon was shining brightly that night. It reminded her of the first time that she slept on Maki’s house. She stood up, went to her table and opened a secret drawer. She took out the cell phone that her parents bought her after her graduation in Elementary.

“I guess it’s time for me to use this again after such a long time…”

“Ohayou Ayumi!!! The breakfast’s ready, just go to the dining area later… I’ll go to school now…”

“Hai, I’ll go to your school at your lunch break… Before I go home…”

“Sure, I’ll meet you at the gate… By the way, you had a cell phone right? What’s your number?” Rika took out her phone from her bag.

Ayumi told her number… She knew that cell phone.. Rika mentioned it to her when she was relating to her, her last moments with Maki.

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