I’m One of the muses, A common wood nymph roaming around Parnassus, Happy with my little sweet pea. With her delicate, fragrant flowers Carried on long, slim stalks, She captivated me. I ran to her flaming with desire. I am flaming. Burning Blazing with desire. Too hot for my sweet pea. Because she’s so delicate, So delicate for me. As I touch her, she transformed into ashes. I burnt her. And out of a haze, you were formed. Like smoke given out by fire. A fireweed that sprang up in the burnt over area. A replacement, I thought. You quenched my thirst. Suffuse my hunger. My desire. I came to you for a crown And you gave me a kingdom. You made me eat on a golden plate And drink from your cup of diamonds. But like a common pitcher plant, Cut your base open And there you’ll find my body’s remains trapped inside. A pitfall in the middle of the forest. I will name you Venus? The goddess with a seducing brilliant red trap. Open to all beings that needs nurturing. Show your bosom and all will crave for your milk. From a butterfly, you turned me to an ant. When I brushed only slightly against your skin, You closed within an instant. Rigid spines on the margins of you blades interlock tightly. As soon as I was trapped, You digested me. Used me as a nutrient material. I know this is about to last for only a week. By the time your leaf reopens, You’ll be reedy for other sufferers. Trapped inside, I accepted my fate. Then there she came one spring day. My little delicate sweet pea. Now a spring beauty in full bloom. A low perennial herb. With narrow, succulent leaves And loose cluster of white and pink flowers. But your leaf has closed. I cannot escape.

The 13th Floor  


Rika was really afraid. She was in the 13th floor of their building, which she knew mustn’t exist. She tried to push the close button but instead, the light died down. The emergency lights were making the place look eerie than usual. Rika sat on the floor of the elevator and pulled her knees closer to her chest. She was not a strong person; she gets easily scared by the dark, and even a chicken scares her. This was the time that she needs the support of Yossie. She was crying helplessly when her phone rang.

Rika dashed down the hall towards the elevator. She was trying to get a hold of her girlfriend right after the interview was over, but she can’t contact her.

[i] “Maybe she was angry…”[/i]

The interview for Biyuuden’s single, Jaja Uma Paradise was a bit longer than the previous interviews. She was really late for their date... 30 minutes late to be exact. Yossie promised to be on their meeting place on time. Usually it was her that waits for Yossie if they go out after long and strenuous dancing and singing. She knew Yossie would still wait for her even if it took her an hour, but she was feeling guilty for being late when her lover tried her best to stay punctual for the first time.

“Now, what is it this time?!” Rika shouted inside the elevator. She was the only passenger, that’s why she didn’t need to worry about her attitude. She was cursing the one who pressed the button of the elevator for it to go up. She waited and waited. She would really like to give a glare to the one who’s making her extra late. At last the elevator stopped going up. She straightened herself and raised her right eyebrow as the door opened. She was surprised to see a dark corridor revealed to her. The hairs on her neck stood up as she got a glimpse on the floor counter of the elevator.

[i] You must be kidding me…”[/i]

Rika was really afraid. She was in the 13th floor of their building, which she knew mustn’t exist. She tried to push the close button but instead, the light died down. The emergency lights were making the place look eerie than usual. Rika sat on the floor of the elevator and pulled her knees closer to her chest. She was not a strong person; she gets easily scared by the dark, and even a chicken scares her. This was the time that she needs the support of Yossie. She was crying helplessly when her phone rang.


“Yocchan!!” Rika was glad to hear the voice of her girlfriend. She wiped her tears and leaned back on the wall.

“Are you crying? I’m really sorry. I was caught in a traffic. But I promise I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

“No, that’s not the reason why I’m crying…. I too, was late for our date. In fact, I’m still in our building.”

“Then what’s the reason?”

“I’m scared…. I’m really scared.”

“Why?” Hitomi asked. Rika held her bag tightly. She was scared to look on the open door. She feels that something might pounce on her… or worst, a ghost might appear and possess her or so.

“I’m trapped in the elevator…” Rika heard Yossie cough a bit. She knew what Hitomi’s thinking right now. That she was being childish again. If only she could feel what she’s feeling right now… If only she’s in the same predicament right now…

“I’m trapped in the elevator and I’m in the thirteenth floor. I know it sounds ridiculous but I’m telling you the truth. The elevator is not functioning and I can’t go to the ground floor. The worst thing is that the lights were out, and it’s creepy to be in the dark on a 13th floor of a building!” Rika ranted. She tried to think about happy memories. Her family, Morning Musume, Biyuuden… and Yossie, just so she can forget the darkness that surrounds her.

“I’m sorry… for not being there right now when you need me the most.” Yossie said apologetically. Rika’s fear somewhat disappeared. Hitomi’s voice was enough to make her feel at ease.

“It’s ok… Hearing your voice gives me courage.”

“Does it? Thank you… I know what I’ll do to keep me busy in this traffic jam.”


“I’ll talk to you so that you won’t get scared or lonely.”

30 minutes have passed and Rika forgot that she was still in the 13th floor. She laughed loudly as Hitomi was relating a funny joke or a funny experience before.

“My stomach really hurts from your jokes…”

“So, I guess our dinner will be cancelled and I’ll send you to the hospital to check your stomach…”

“Funny…. Where are you now?”

“I changed my route.. I’m on my way there. The prince will now save the damsel in distress!”

“How about the traffic?” Rika tired to suppress the laugh that threatening to escape her lips.

“uhhm, it’s still congested… It seems like there’s an accident.”

“How awful…”

“It is really awful…” Hitomi trailed off. Rika knew that she can’t still forget her brother who died last January. Suddenly, the lights opened and the door of the elevator closed.

“Yocchan!!! The elevator moved! I’m free at last!!!” Rika screamed to her phone. “Yocchan?... Hello?” Rika checked her phone. Her battery died down but at least she will be able to get out of the building and meet Hitomi.

“Where have you been!!! We’ve been searching for you for the last 4 hours!” Miki ranted as soon as she saw Rika coming out of the elevator.

“4 hours? But I was trapped in the elevator for at least 30 minutes.” Rika answered. Miki and her weren’t that close. She’s jealous with the later because of the hugs that Miki gave to Yossie whether that camera was or was not rolling.
[i] “I guess time stood still when I’m talking with Yocchan.” [/i]

“Yeah right.” Miki rolled her eyes.

“So, that’s it you already found me… I’m really late for my date so if you’re going to tell something to me, make it fast.”

“You’re on a date? With whom?”

“Yossie of course! As if I have other girlfriend right?” Rika joked. Miki on the other hand looked on the ground. Rika had a glimpse of the sadness that’s registering on her face. “You know that we’re together for a long time now, right? Why are you acting like that?”

“I think you need to cancel that date of yours.” Miki looked at her straight in the eyes. Rika was taken aback. She was going to answer her but she stopped herself. Miki’s not glaring at her. Instead, her eyes were almost filled up with tears. “Why are you staring at me like that? Are you in love with my Yocchan?” Miki fell onto her knees and cried. Rika didn’t have a choice but to console her former band mate. “You… you don’t have to feel guilty… It’s really hard to resist Yossie’s charms. I think almost everyone fell in love with her at one time.”

“What are you saying?” Miki said in between sobs. “I’m not in love with her… She’s just a really good friend who understands me besides Aya.”

“Then why are you acting like that?”

Miki looked at her and cried further. They were still on the hall and anyone passing by would easily see them in this awkward situation; anyone like Aya.

“Miki! There you are… I’ve been searching for you for a long time now.” Aya immediately hugged her best friend.

“AYA!!!” Rika was the one who became uncomfortable. The two were crying together.

“Ano, if you’re just going to cry there… then I’ll be going now. I’m really late for my date.”

“Are you going on a date with Yossie?” Aya asked as she helped Miki get on her feet.

“YES! And I’m really really really late now!”

“You haven’t told it to her yet?” Miki shook her head. Rika became curious at what Aya said.

“I don’t have the courage to say it… You tell it to her.” Miki hugged her best friend from behind. It’s not an ordinary hug. It’s a kind of hug where you try to get some support or strength. Rika noticed that. It seemed like the two were trying to say something really important.

“I guess… ahhmm… you should… cancel, ano, your date…”

“Just get to the damned point!” Rika shouted at Aya.

“Yossie’s dead.”


Aya looked back at Miki. Miki sighed and continued, “Yossie’s dead. She met an accident on the way here.”

“Uso, you’re joking right?” Rika asked, suddenly becoming nervous.

“Why would we joke about this topic?!” Aya answered back as she tried to dry her tears.

“I don’t believe you… Maybe Yossie asked you to say that she’s dead…. Maybe she wanted to worry me for making her wait longer… maybe… maybe…”

“If you don’t want to believe us, why won’t you go with us to the funeral parlor to have a last look on your beloved Yocchan? Miki sarcastically said. “Here I am, trying my best to search for you for a long time because I know that Hitomi’s really important to you and you just say things like that?! Will you wake up?! Hitomi’s dead!”

The room was filled with crying faces, faces familiar persons who became a part of her life. On the left side, she saw how Reina was trying to console her two friends. Aika was consoling her sempai Kusumi. The two Chinese members were on the back, looking really sad at the sudden death of the former leader. The Biyuuden members came rushing to her as soon as she entered the room. They were crying really hard. She patted their back and walked away slowly. She caught a glimpse of Aibon and Nono, fellow 4th generation members, on the right side of the room. The Gokkies were trying to console the newly arrived Makoto who’s making a scene in front of the coffin. Ai saw Rika and whispered something on Makoto’s ears. Makoto calmed herself and walked away towards the front row seats. The other Gokkies followed her. Rika inched her way towards the dreaded thing that she fears the most. She knew that the others were watching her every move. She can’t look at the person who’s lying in there… She didn’t want to look, but she had to. She needed to.

And there she was. There were a few scratches on her face but, she still looks beautiful. Rika touched the cold mirror in an attempt to caress the face of her lover. It looks like Hitomi was just sleeping peacefully. Rika smiled at the thought and just stood there for 10 minutes; until someone decided to gather some guts to remove her from her loved one.

“You looked like a statue I there.” Maki tried to joke. She shouldn’t be joking at a time like this but seeing Rika just staring at the coffin without moving or crying was really troubling her. It’s really a big blow on Rika’s side.

“I just talked to her.” Rika suddenly said.

“I beg your pardon?” Maki asked. She clearly heard what Rika said but she needed to hear it another time. She was a sensitive. Sometimes she can see or feel what other normal people shouldn’t; on their hotel rooms, in there house or in their building. And she surely cannot feel Yossie’s presence right now, that’s why she needed Rika to explain what she said further.

“I was trapped in the elevator of our building. It went up to the 13th floor when I pressed the button of the ground floor. The lights went out and I’m somewhat scared. Yocchan called me and she talked to me while I was in there to keep me busy because she know that I’m afraid of the dark.”

“When did she call you? And for how long?”

“Just right after our Biyuuden interview. The call lasted for me, 30 minutes, but Miki said that she was searching for me for 4 hours so I guess, talking with Yocchan made me forget the time.”

“What did she say to you?” Maki asked curiously.

“Nothing important of a sort. Some jokes and funny experiences to make me forget the situation I was in. I was happy when she said that she will come to save me, but I guess that I’m the reason this happened to her.”

“I guess not.” Rika looked in her eyes, somewhat puzzled by what Maki had said.

“She got hit by a speeding car when she’s crossing the street to meet me in front of our building.” Rika eyes widen at what she heard. Hitomi couldn’t possibly be playing with her. Maki got her reaction and continued explaining. “It’s nothing really. She’s faithful to you. She called me and asked where I was. I told her that I’m still in the building. She asked me whether they were still interviewing your group and I said yes. She told me that she’s on a restaurant, waiting for you. We had some sort of agreement last month. I was really annoyed at her for making you wait whenever you had a date. She’s been like this ever since right? So I told her I’ll give her a gift if one day, she was the one waiting for you. Since you were still in the same building, she decided to get her prize from me, and wait for you at the same time.” Rika tried to control the tears that are threatening to fall. But then something in the story of Maki hit her.

“You told me that she was hit by a speeding car on the way here why my interview was still on going.?”


“But then… who..” Rika’s next sentence was cut short by Maki’s smile.

“It’s her. She really loves you that much. I guess she’s the one who trapped you in that floor. Hitomi knew your weaknesses. You would definitely hug her right on the spot and cried or faint on the ground if you saw her earlier. There was too much blood. And you might stain you lovely clothes.” Maki tried to lighten the mood a little bit. Rika looked at her lap and bit her lip. She let her tears fall from her eyes.

“She really loved you that it’s better for you to be crying because of the dark than to cry over her.”

Rika can’t sleep. She was staring at her ceiling for a long time now. She didn’t want to leave but Maki and the other’s urged her to get some rest. She really can’t believe that this happened on the day of their anniversary. Her thoughts were disrupted when her phone rang. She didn’t want to answer it; it’s probably Maki who just wanted to check on her or any other concerned people. The ringing lasted for a few seconds and stopped. Rika sighed and tried to get some sleep when the phone rang again. This time she answered it without looking at her monitor.


“I’m sorry…” Rika was shocked she knew the owner of that voice.

“Just as what Maki explained it to you.”

“What am I supposed to do now?” Rika started to cry over the phone.

“Just don’t forget me. I’ll be always present in your heart, remember that… I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Take care of yourself. There are many people who are concerned for you. Don’t let this day hinder you to move on.”

“Yes, I’ll try. But it’s not that easy to forget you.”

“I know. Saa, goodbye for now, my little brother’s waiting for me. We’ll see each other again someday. I’ll be waiting for you.”

“Goodbye, Yocchan.”

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