I’m One of the muses, A common wood nymph roaming around Parnassus, Happy with my little sweet pea. With her delicate, fragrant flowers Carried on long, slim stalks, She captivated me. I ran to her flaming with desire. I am flaming. Burning Blazing with desire. Too hot for my sweet pea. Because she’s so delicate, So delicate for me. As I touch her, she transformed into ashes. I burnt her. And out of a haze, you were formed. Like smoke given out by fire. A fireweed that sprang up in the burnt over area. A replacement, I thought. You quenched my thirst. Suffuse my hunger. My desire. I came to you for a crown And you gave me a kingdom. You made me eat on a golden plate And drink from your cup of diamonds. But like a common pitcher plant, Cut your base open And there you’ll find my body’s remains trapped inside. A pitfall in the middle of the forest. I will name you Venus? The goddess with a seducing brilliant red trap. Open to all beings that needs nurturing. Show your bosom and all will crave for your milk. From a butterfly, you turned me to an ant. When I brushed only slightly against your skin, You closed within an instant. Rigid spines on the margins of you blades interlock tightly. As soon as I was trapped, You digested me. Used me as a nutrient material. I know this is about to last for only a week. By the time your leaf reopens, You’ll be reedy for other sufferers. Trapped inside, I accepted my fate. Then there she came one spring day. My little delicate sweet pea. Now a spring beauty in full bloom. A low perennial herb. With narrow, succulent leaves And loose cluster of white and pink flowers. But your leaf has closed. I cannot escape.

So Close  


Ahahaha.. I decided to make a fic out of the OPV that I made... so yeah, I made this one really fast so I think it affected the quality of the outcome... Anyways, enjoy reading!XD

You’re in my arms
And all the world is calm
The music playing on for only two
So close together
And when I’m with you
So close to feeling alive

“That’s it for today! Good job everyone!” Sumio-san said after finally being satisfied with our performance. It’s what you expect for a veteran Takarazuka director.



“You and Niigaki-san have a great chemistry. I guess that’s because the two of you are best friends. You two amazed me. It looks so real.” He gently patted my shoulders. I muttered a simple thank you as he walks away. Sumio-san, if you only knew. I hope it’s really real too.

When did I start feeling this way towards you? When did I start hiding a simple glance from you? I didn’t really know the answer at that and the initial reaction I did was to move away from you. I knew you tried hard. But I was more stubborn. From ‘Risa-chan’ I resorted to calling you ‘Gaki-san’, though I know it would hurt you most. Why? Because I’m afraid. I’m afraid to lose you as a friend. It’s better for me to suffer alone and still being able to talk to you in ‘civilized’ way than not being able to talk to you at all.

A life goes by
Romantic dreams will stop
So I bid mine goodbye and never knew
So close was waiting, waiting here with you
And now forever I know
All that I wanted to hold you
So close

I’m in this kind of ‘self- denial’ stage right now and I think there’s nothing that I can do about it… Every night my dreams kept on haunting me. Dreams of you and me together. Dreams of us back then where we would give our innocent smiles to each other; back then when this feeling hasn’t surfaced yet. I tried to live my life as normal as it can be. But every day you would mess with my inner mind. You don’t have any idea how your simple touch can wreak havoc inside me. I knew you did that on purpose. Because I knew you sense that I was indirectly pushing you away from me.

I think I’ve succeeded on that. You and Eri make a great pair. As I look at the two of you, happily talking to each other while packing up your bags, I felt a tinge of jealousy. If I’m not afraid to face this feeling, it was me who would be laughing with you right now. And for a split second, I felt that I want to hold you… forever, if that’s possible.

So close to reaching that famous happy end
Almost believing this was not pretend
And now you’re beside me and look how far we’ve come
So far we are so close

“Hey Ai-chan, why are you still here?”

“I need to practice more… I feel like I’m not still good enough for this role.”

“Ai-chan… you’re such a workaholic… You’re fine. Believe in yourself. I think you’ve improved a lot ever since Ribbon no Kishi.”

“Thanks Gaki-san… But still… I want to practice.” Please Risa… Don’t make this hard for me… You, saying those words, makes me want to embrace you right now.

“If Takarazuka are my idols too, I would be really nervous just performing with them. I know what you feel Ai-chan. I’m here to help you.” You put down your bag and held my hand. I hope you didn’t hear my heart skip a beat. “So, let’s practice Cinderella and Prince Charles’ parts, shall we?”

“Ha… hai…”

How could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
We’re so close
To reaching that famous happy end
And almost believing this was not pretend
Let’s go on dreaming for we know we are
So close
So close
And still so far

It felt like time stopped on us. It’s like we really are Cinderella and Prince Charles. Or that’s what my mind wanted me to think. I stared at your brown eyes and tried to decipher that ‘mysterious’ look that you’re giving me. Was it happiness? Pain? Confusion? Anger? Sadness? Maybe it’s all of those emotions. You’re silently asking me why right? Why did I keep on pushing you away when all I ever want was to be beside you?

“Do I love you because you’re beautiful? Or you’re beautiful because I love you?” It’s the first time that you talked since we started dancing. I thought you said that we should practice our scenes but all we did was dance… and got lost to it. Should I answer it? It’s just our song that we would sing so there’s no need to answer right. But a small part of me wanted to answer ‘both’. I want to pretend this ‘practice’ of ours was real. If it’s only me, I wanted to go on dreaming. At this moment, I didn’t want to lose you. You’re always the one who gave me strength, who’s always telling me that I can do this and that. The one who always says that you’ll stay by my side and support me at everything. I know it’s not part of the scene but I can’t stop myself from resting my head on your chest. The sound of your beating heart made me feel at ease. I really don’t want to end this fantasy.

“Gaki-san! Come on! I thought you promised that we would go shopping!” I heard you let out a ‘sad’ sigh.

“I have to go Ai-chan… Kame’s waiting for me.”

“Uhh, thanks… for practicing with me.”

“I had fun. Let’s do it again sometime. Oh yeah, believe in yourself. You can do it. You know I’ll always support you no matter what.” You immediately ran after that. I was left alone, thinking about what you said. I gave me hope, but at the same time, a little bit of pain in the heart. I felt like you feel the same way about me too… but like me, you were afraid. I guess it can’t be helped. We’re best friends. We’re so close… and yet, we’re still so far.

The End

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1 comments: to “ So Close

  • youknowwho;)
    8 October 2009 at 3:41 am  


    nice story, but a bit rough huh? Want me to BETA it or something? I could probably fit it in between my 11am appointment and the void that is the rest of my schedule :D

    Mwah, thanks and have a nice day! DONT FORGET YOUR LUNCH and stay safe. Oh and no playsies in the deep end of the restaurant! Also no diving from the top of your house to the street to save commuting time and no swimming in front of heavy traffic XD haha so many jokes so little time XD
    see ya, take care, your friendly neighboorhood pain in the butt aka Sweeety :D


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