I’m One of the muses, A common wood nymph roaming around Parnassus, Happy with my little sweet pea. With her delicate, fragrant flowers Carried on long, slim stalks, She captivated me. I ran to her flaming with desire. I am flaming. Burning Blazing with desire. Too hot for my sweet pea. Because she’s so delicate, So delicate for me. As I touch her, she transformed into ashes. I burnt her. And out of a haze, you were formed. Like smoke given out by fire. A fireweed that sprang up in the burnt over area. A replacement, I thought. You quenched my thirst. Suffuse my hunger. My desire. I came to you for a crown And you gave me a kingdom. You made me eat on a golden plate And drink from your cup of diamonds. But like a common pitcher plant, Cut your base open And there you’ll find my body’s remains trapped inside. A pitfall in the middle of the forest. I will name you Venus? The goddess with a seducing brilliant red trap. Open to all beings that needs nurturing. Show your bosom and all will crave for your milk. From a butterfly, you turned me to an ant. When I brushed only slightly against your skin, You closed within an instant. Rigid spines on the margins of you blades interlock tightly. As soon as I was trapped, You digested me. Used me as a nutrient material. I know this is about to last for only a week. By the time your leaf reopens, You’ll be reedy for other sufferers. Trapped inside, I accepted my fate. Then there she came one spring day. My little delicate sweet pea. Now a spring beauty in full bloom. A low perennial herb. With narrow, succulent leaves And loose cluster of white and pink flowers. But your leaf has closed. I cannot escape.

Johnny's NEWS Report  


A crack fic about some latest happenings in the JE world. Have fun reading this short fic! :)

Headlines: An Osakan guy was accused of child abuse!

Two performers make out on live tv!

StarNEWS: A cute artist dyes his hair blond for the sake of his lover!

“Good evening, I’m Uchi Hiroki and you’re watching Johnny’s NEWS Report!”

“On to our headlines, an Osakan guy was accused of child abuse! Last November on Music Station, Kanjani 8 was invited to perform. The new Johnny’s group called Hey! Say! Jump will perform with them that day. The full NEWS will be reported by our field reporter, Hironori Kusano.”

“Last November, Hey! Say! Jump performed their new single, Ultra Music Power on Music Station. Kanjani 8 was also on that same program. When Kanjani 8 performed their new single ‘It’s my Soul’, the Hey! Say! Jump kids joined them halfway. Mr. Yokoyama Yuu, was accused with Sexual Harassment and Child Abuse. I’ve interviewed a witness on that day.

Nakajima: “We joined them after the instrumental part. I was on the right side of sempai (Yokoyama) and Chinen was on his left. He suddenly kissed Chinen on his cheek many times.”

Dou Mariko: “Kanjani 8, Hey! Say! Jump joined suddenly halfway.”

Yoko: “Yeah, I was so excited that I kissed him” (Chinen)

Dou Mariko: “Chinen-san, how did you feel about it?”

Chinen: “I was scared and kept giggling.”

Yoko: “really? Sorry about that.”

“A member of Kanjani 8 tried to explain Mr. Yokoyama’s actions.”

Subaru: “Well, we’re just playing with the cameras. And it’s just natural for us to kiss our kouhai or anyone in Johnny’s entertainment. It’s our form of love. Tacchon (Tadayoshi Ohkura) and Yassan (Yasuda Kei) looked like they were doing something in our concert on one of the prefectures.”

“In relation with our interview with Mr. Shibutani Subaru, I’ve also asked him about his ‘making out’ with Mr. Ryo Nishikido.

Subaru: “As I’ve told you, we’re just playing around with the cameras. We’re the only Johnny’s group that can do that in front of the camera.”

Ryo: “I’ve been with them for many years now and they knew the person whom I really love the most. Yoko already kissed Hina (Shingo Murakami) on the lips in front of the camera. There’s no malice about it.”

“That’s all, I’m Hironori Kusano, reporting.

Uchi: Thank you Kusano! And well, go now to our StarNEWS!”
A cute artist dyes his hair blond for the sake of his lover. KAT-TUN member Junnosuke Taguchi surprised the whole Johnny’s world by sporting a blond hair. We’ve interviewed his rumoured ‘lover’ Ueda Tatsuya.

Ueda: “He didn’t do it for me. He was chosen to play a playboy, Swiss ambassador’s son on a drama that’s why he needed to dye his hair. And I don’t care what he wants to do with his hair.”

“We’ve also interviewed Mr. Taguchi to answer our questions.”

Junno: “I did it for him (Ueda) and then the drama followed. He always ignores me for his idol. The episode four of the drama (Yukan Club) was dedicated to him. I really hoped that he would treat me like Kanna-san.”

“When asked about why did he dyed it blonde…”

Junno: “Gackt-san was blonde before right? I thought by dying it blonde, Ueda would notice me.”

That’s it for our StarNEWS. We want to apologize for the typographical error on the screen on the interview with Mr. Shibutani Subaru. Yassan was the nickname of Mr. Yasuda Shota and not Kei. Ms. Yasuda Kei was a former member of Morning Musume. Again, we apologize. This is Uchi Hiroki and you’ve just watched Johnny’s NEWS Report!”

Director: “CUT!!!”

Uchi: *Dialled a number* “Kusano?... Yeah…. 8pm… got that… I’ll wait for you… ja!”

The next day…..

FLASH REPORT: “Two former NEWS members who got suspended because of drinking while they are still minors, caused a ruckus yesterday at a bar due to over intoxication of alcohol.”

The End

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