I’m One of the muses, A common wood nymph roaming around Parnassus, Happy with my little sweet pea. With her delicate, fragrant flowers Carried on long, slim stalks, She captivated me. I ran to her flaming with desire. I am flaming. Burning Blazing with desire. Too hot for my sweet pea. Because she’s so delicate, So delicate for me. As I touch her, she transformed into ashes. I burnt her. And out of a haze, you were formed. Like smoke given out by fire. A fireweed that sprang up in the burnt over area. A replacement, I thought. You quenched my thirst. Suffuse my hunger. My desire. I came to you for a crown And you gave me a kingdom. You made me eat on a golden plate And drink from your cup of diamonds. But like a common pitcher plant, Cut your base open And there you’ll find my body’s remains trapped inside. A pitfall in the middle of the forest. I will name you Venus? The goddess with a seducing brilliant red trap. Open to all beings that needs nurturing. Show your bosom and all will crave for your milk. From a butterfly, you turned me to an ant. When I brushed only slightly against your skin, You closed within an instant. Rigid spines on the margins of you blades interlock tightly. As soon as I was trapped, You digested me. Used me as a nutrient material. I know this is about to last for only a week. By the time your leaf reopens, You’ll be reedy for other sufferers. Trapped inside, I accepted my fate. Then there she came one spring day. My little delicate sweet pea. Now a spring beauty in full bloom. A low perennial herb. With narrow, succulent leaves And loose cluster of white and pink flowers. But your leaf has closed. I cannot escape.

Insane Desire  


A really OOC Yossie here... Hehehe. I know that the title is a user name from LJ, but it's somewhat catchy.. Hope you enjoy this one.XD

The sound of the raindrops falling on the roof was enough to hide the crashing sounds and muffled screams. A figure left the house and faced the raging storm outside. Inside, the house was a total mess. Shards of glass from the glass wares were lying on the floor; sauces, noodles and rice were scattered on the dining hall and a broken foot of a chair has destroyed a part of the tiled floor. On one corner of the room, a beaten woman was curled up in a fetal position. Bruises covered her whole body. Blood dripped from her nose and mouth. Her tears seemed to synchronize with the rain; falling from her eyes, mixed with her own blood. A woman tensed as she heard someone opened the door and went inside. She flinched as an immediate reaction when a hand tried to hold her shoulders. But it’s different. The hand that touched her contrasted the coldness that the storm brings. A loving touch who cold only come from the one person she could ever trust… she could ever loved truly.


It started when she became the sub leader, and ‘her’, the leader. They always clicked with each other. The latter was the heart of the group, making them feel positive whenever the situation doesn’t seem good. Just a funny face or joke was enough to wipe away the sadness or tension from anyone of them. A jolly, good-natured person which contrasted her ‘scary’ personality. She was, on the other hand, the epitome of terror. Just a glare from her was enough to silence those persons with whom she gave those frightening stares. During live concerts, many of her peers tried to be far away from her as much as possible to escape her silly habit of groping their butts. Her heart-piercing, straight to the point comments will really get into the skin of those people that she ‘touched’ the lives. They will not forget that the name Miki Fujimoto rhymes with fear. She didn’t fear any body or anyone… until now. She and her leader became close. They enjoyed each other’s company until they realized that they’re heading for a new path. They were happy for a while, but not all love stories end up in happy endings..

“Why did she kiss you?”

“It’s in the script. And besides, it’s just Aya.”

“You liked it, do you?”

“What are you saying? She’s just my best friend and we’re only doing our job for the PV!” Miki tried to get out of the room. She was really pissed at the other girl’s narrow-mindedness right now. As she held the door knob, a tight grasp held her wrist.

“Don’t you dare walk out on me!”

“I’ll walk out if I feel li….” Her sentence was not completed when a hand landed on her face forcefully. It stings a lot and the part reddened quickly. Tears well up in her eyes not because of the pain but because it’s “her” who did this. The other realized what she did and hugged her.

“I’m sorry…. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to do it. I was just jealous of her. I’m sorry…”

It’s a vicious cycle; petty quarrels will end up in her being hurt. A couple of hugs and kisses and their back together. She’s getting tired of all of these that’s why she decided to break free. And a wrong idea indeed. It became worse, being hurt not only physically but also mentally.

“Yocchan, what are you doing?!?” Miki took the cutter away from Hitomi’s hand when she saw that blood was already dripping from the leader’s wrist. The other grabbed her hands firmly, tightly, as if the other wanted her bones to break under the pressure. Miki was pinned on the wall.

“You want to leave me right? So I’ll just take my life instead.”

“Please, don’t kill yourself… Are you insane?”

“You made me loose myself…”

If not for the scandal that it will bring to the company and to her group members, Miki decided to stay quiet about the hidden personality of this ‘calm’ and ‘cool’ person. In front of the camera and in their co-workers, they were a fun and loving tandem but in the privacy of their apartment, she feels like she’s already in hell. If they were only married, she will be the ‘battered wife’. She can imagine herself having black eyes, swollen face and wounds and cuts everywhere. She has those, but her partner’s good in hiding them to the naked eye. From all the punches, kicks, and slaps done to her, no one noticed the marks, except someone who’s very keen in observing when it comes to her.

“What happened to your arm? Why do you have a bruise?”

“I hit it accidentally when we were on the set last week. Pretty clumsy right?”

“Are you protecting something… or someone?”

“Ehh? What are talking about?”

“Never mind…”

This is the first time that she lied, badly, at her best friend because she didn’t want her to be involved, even her own family. She knew what the other is capable of doing. At their concert, the leader ‘purposely’ tripped the unsuspecting Gokkie which in turn made her greeting at the stage. It resulted in a broken leg and a startled crowd. She knew that the latter heard what they talked about before the start of the concert


“What is it? Don’t disturb me or I’ll grope you on stage later!”

“Is there a problem with you and Yossie? I noticed that…”

“Look Risa, if you don’t have anything better to do, just talk to Kusumi or Sayu.”

At last, a light came when her world was already stumbling in the dark. She thought her misery will end when she heard that ‘she’s graduating. She acted like she’s somewhat lonely or sad from the sudden news. If she showed her happy face, it will only result in her being bashed again when she returned home. And at last, the day finally arrived. The leader looked great in her red ‘angel’ outfit. She smirked. In her mind, she replaced the image of the feathery wings with that of a devil. The occasion passed uneventfully as she’s so excited over her so-called semi-freedom.

But Miki’s prediction was wrong. The graduation only resulted in her being beaten everyday. The former leader would always accuse her of unfaithfulness every time she came home from work. Without her watchful eyes in the group now that she’s not a part of it, Hitomi’s jealousy tripled. Miki couldn’t take it any longer. She needs help, and fast.

Miki took the chance when Hitomi had a practice that day. She grabbed a bag, stuffed some clothes and left the apartment. She called the person yesterday; an undercover agent who she met three years ago. She stayed in his apartment for safety, but she knew it wouldn’t last long. She have to face the problem and she knew that she might not survive it this time when she gets back after three days of absence. But they have a plan, and she have to believe in it.

“Where did you go?”

“It’s my free day so I decided to have fun for three days. It’s kinda boring here when you’re alone.”

“And who did you go with?”

“No one. Just me. I just want some ‘alone’ time.” Hitomi stood up and pulled Miki’s hair. Miki yelped in pain.

“Liar… Tsunku said that in this week’s ‘Friday’ release, you’re the front page…. YOU”VE SLEPT IN A MAN’S APARTMENT!!!” Hitomi kicked Miki’s stomach so hard it made the other hit her back on the table, shattering some glassware and scattering the foods set on top of it. But the angered woman’s not finished yet, she pulled Miki’s shirt, punched her face and laid her on the ground.

“Are you not satisfied with me? You know how I really love you right?” Hitomi smirked before kissing Miki’s bloodied lips. Miki tried to push her away but the gravity’s not on her side. She spotted a vase nearby. She tried to reach for it as the other was busy kissing her down to her neck. She hit Hitomi’s head, full force as she grabbed the object. It shattered into pieces but it didn’t even hurt the other, though blood was already dripping from her injured head. It made Hitomi angrier.

“Now what did that man gave you for you to fight back like that?” Hitomi said in her coldest voice ever. She gave another punch and hit Miki’s left cheek.

“I’m tired of you hurting me!!! Why can’t you let me go…. I don’t want to stay with you anymore!!!….” Miki yelled as the thunder roared across the dark sky concurrently. She let her tears fall on her now swollen cheeks. She wanted this nightmare to end.

“You don’t want to stay with me?! You want to stay with that man?! I’m sorry… but you’re mine… ONLY MINE!” Miki can see Hitomi’s ice cold, blank stare; as if she’s been possessed by a devil. Hitomi hit her non-stop, using the things that she can grab. Miki knew she’ll be dead any minute now; her body had become numb from all the strikes the she took. Hitomi took a chair and aimed it at Miki’s head. Miki closed her eyes as she prepared herself for the worst… a foot of the chair was broken as it hit the tiled floor besides her head. Miki tried to open her eyes and saw that tears were falling from Hitomi’s blank stare. Hitomi shook her head and run out of the house.


“She did this to you? I know something’s wrong…” Aya tried to help her friend to stand up. She’s bleeding really hard and she must be sent to the hospital as soon as possible.

“Aya, please… I don’t want to involve you… please go…” Miki tried to say in her weak voice.

“Damn it Miki! Stop being like that… I’m your best friend, remember that. I’m already involved in this from the start. Your pain is my pain too…”

“What an interesting scene… And I just went out for a couple of seconds.” Miki closed her eyes as soon as she heard her cold voice. Aya hugged her best friend tighter.

“What did you do with my best friend?! I thought you love her?! I thought you’ll take care of her?! I tho…..” Hitomi raised a gun in front of them. Aya was stunned.

“SHUT UP!!! Who are you to say those things to me?! I really love her… But she’s always flirting with others like you!! But now…” Hitomi readied the .44 calibre in her hand and aimed it at Aya. “I’ll kill you both… as a revenge for hurting me.”

Hitomi was about to pull the trigger when help arrived.
“FREEZE! FBI! Put down your gun!” The man who Miki asked for help arrived together with two more men. Hitomi aimed the gun at them and pulled the trigger. The bullet went straight into the agent’s left thigh. One of the police helped the fallen agent and the other shot Hitomi. She fell hard on the floor as blood started flowing out of the wound on her waist.

That week, the Friday Magazine released a different story other than the first one. And it’s not only on Friday that the news was released, but on all the different newspapers and T.V stations in Japan.

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4 comments: to “ Insane Desire

  • kRisZ
    24 April 2008 at 7:22 PM  

    Jesus! You're bad!

    peace XDDD

  • cogi_yoshi
    24 April 2008 at 10:27 PM  

    HARHARHAR!!! I really am BAD!!! Lol..XD

  • charmy
    7 December 2008 at 4:58 PM  

    I gotta admit this is still one of my fave stories of all time. I don't know why..... maybe it's all the emotion..... or maybe it's the ending..... I can see it so clearly in my head. Maybe I can relate to it in a way I don't care to mention......

    Either way I love it ^^
    Hate that it ends up GAM instead of... HAM. (HAM being Hitomi and Miki, not Hitomi Aya Miki.... not in this case anyway.)

    I guess the die hard YoMiki fan in me was screaming "NO YOSHI! DON'T LET HER LEAVE!" But not in the "Kill her" way, in the "Change" way.

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